I am not sure that I have ever met a kid more insightful or curious about my relationship status before this past weekend. I was managing a kids club program at an event in and one of the kids, he was 9 years old, asked me a series of questions, all revolving around my relationship status.
“Are you married?”
“How old are you?”
“And you’re not married?!”
“But you are old!”
“WHAT?! Not nice buddy!”
“Sorry. Why do you choose to be single?”
“… … … … Thank you for asking it that way and not saying, ‘why are you single?’”
“You’re welcome. So?”
“… um… um… Because I like that I do not have to worry about anyone else. I can go where I want when I want” I had to give him an answer and it’s all I could come up with.
“Have you ever been married?”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“But you didn’t love them enough to get married?”
“I was young, I’m not even sure it was really love. I’m not even sure I know what that kind of love is. I think you actually need to like the person you are going to marry WAY more than you love them. I love a lot of people. I find sometimes even the people I love can be hard to like. And if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you better really really really like them.”
“I guess so. Do you want to get married?”
“Maybe. One day.”
In the span of 5 minutes this 9 year old kid made me question my whole life! I was in awe of the totally open and honest way that he asked his questions. He was articulate and clear and actually really lovely- except when he called me old. I was truly amazed at the way he phrased the most triggering question though, “Why do you choose to be single?” His wording was very particular and perhaps not everyone would notice it but I did. I did because I was seriously impressed. His choice of words implies that he understands that we have something to do with creating our own realities. He is 9 years old! I’ve been doing personal development work for a long long time and even I don’t always catch the way I speak.
This question is one that I will likely sit with for the next few weeks. I haven’t managed to pause long enough to contemplate it much more than the short response I gave him.
To make the whole story even better about an hour after kids club ended for the weekend I was sitting in the lobby calculating the nannies hours when he saw me. He came over and asked, “Are you still single?” I laughed. I laughed a full blown whole hearted laugh and said, “Diego, did you expect me to find someone to love in the hour that you haven’t seen me?!” He laughed with me.